Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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