I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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