The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
