I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize