Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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