I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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