Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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