Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize