This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize