Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize