I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
