Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Found the puke drawer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
