So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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