I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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