when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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