btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
