After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
