We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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