I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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