I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
