Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Randomize