Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
