She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
