man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
