I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
