Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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