I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
