if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
