dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
