Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
