I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
