he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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