You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
