I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
