I CAN MOONWALK!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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