what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
