ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
