Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize