quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
