Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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