I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize