Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
