can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
