I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
