I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
