Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
