its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
