something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
