Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
