chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you had me at cake vodka
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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