what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
