piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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