talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize