Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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