so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
