I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
