We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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