Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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