I want to make a zoo with you.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
