The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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