R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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