In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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