I need help removing her.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
