Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
