instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
