living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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