And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've blown a few things in my day
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
