The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
