Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
