maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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