do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
