My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize