Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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