I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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