This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
