dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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