That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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