This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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