i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
