She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
