I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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