Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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