This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am one with the molecules
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize