WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Boobs are out for the taking
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Terrible idea I love it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
